Did you know....

[DaMorgs]

In England it is legal to kill a Welshman with a crossbow after midnight on church grounds.

[jezzman]

Did you know that if you feed a mogwai after midnight that.............ah bugger it, I'll let you find out.

[melefics]

Did you know that the Ronalds here sell apple pies 4 for $4.95 and that they are awesome.

[batty]

In England it is legal to kill a Welshman with a crossbow after midnight on church grounds.

Did you know that if you feed a mogwai after midnight that.............ah bugger it, I'll let you find out.

Did you know that the Ronalds here sell apple pies 4 for $4.95 and that they are awesome.

I knew that, heck, everybody knows that...but did you know the muscle that lets your eye blink is the fastest muscle in your body. It allows you to blink 5 times a second. On average, you blink 15 000 times a day. That’s about 10 times per minute, or more than five million times a year. Women blink more than men.

But forget about that, let me ask you a simple question...

Assume there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle; in the other, Adolf Hitler’s skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can’t give it away and you have to keep it alive for two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by Lexx. If you select Hitler’s skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in your living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical. Which option do you select? Hitler or the turtle? The turtle or Hitler?

No, no, forget that, that one was too simple, here's the question I meant to ask you:

Assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but he is completely immobile. And let us assume that – for some reason – every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel-toed boots. Would you attempt to do this? Well, would you? Huh?

Actually, forget that one too, here is the real question:

Genetic engineers at Sydney University have developed a so-called “super gorilla.” Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign language lexicon of over twelve thousand words, and an IQ of almost 85, and – most notably – a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a front row forward. Footy analyst Peter Sterling speculates that this gorilla would be “borderline untackleable” and would likely average six tries a game (although Sterlo concedes the beast might be susceptible to dummies in defence). Meanwhile, the gorilla has made is clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent. You are commissioner of the NRL: Would you allow this gorilla to sign with the Sydney Rabbitohs? What's your answer?

[jezzman]

Assume there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle; in the other, Adolf Hitler’s skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can’t give it away and you have to keep it alive for two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by Lexx. If you select Hitler’s skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in your living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical. Which option do you select? Hitler or the turtle? The turtle or Hitler?

No, no, forget that, that one was too simple, here's the question I meant to ask you:

Assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but he is completely immobile. And let us assume that – for some reason – every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel-toed boots. Would you attempt to do this? Well, would you? Huh?

Actually, forget that one too, here is the real question:

Genetic engineers at Sydney University have developed a so-called “super gorilla.” Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign language lexicon of over twelve thousand words, and an IQ of almost 85, and – most notably – a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a front row forward. Footy analyst Peter Sterling speculates that this gorilla would be “borderline untackleable” and would likely average six tries a game (although Sterlo concedes the beast might be susceptible to dummies in defence). Meanwhile, the gorilla has made is clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent. You are commissioner of the NRL: Would you allow this gorilla to sign with the Sydney Rabbitohs? What's your answer?

Is this testing whether I'm a replicant or a lesbian, Mr. batty?

[melefics]

In England it is legal to kill a Welshman with a crossbow after midnight on church grounds.

Did you know that if you feed a mogwai after midnight that.............ah bugger it, I'll let you find out.

Did you know that the Ronalds here sell apple pies 4 for $4.95 and that they are awesome.

I knew that, heck, everybody knows that...but did you know the muscle that lets your eye blink is the fastest muscle in your body. It allows you to blink 5 times a second. On average, you blink 15 000 times a day. That’s about 10 times per minute, or more than five million times a year. Women blink more than men.

But forget about that, let me ask you a simple question...

Assume there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle; in the other, Adolf Hitler’s skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can’t give it away and you have to keep it alive for two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by Lexx. If you select Hitler’s skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in your living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical. Which option do you select? Hitler or the turtle? The turtle or Hitler?

No, no, forget that, that one was too simple, here's the question I meant to ask you:

Assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but he is completely immobile. And let us assume that – for some reason – every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel-toed boots. Would you attempt to do this? Well, would you? Huh?

Actually, forget that one too, here is the real question:

Genetic engineers at Sydney University have developed a so-called “super gorilla.” Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign language lexicon of over twelve thousand words, and an IQ of almost 85, and – most notably – a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a front row forward. Footy analyst Peter Sterling speculates that this gorilla would be “borderline untackleable” and would likely average six tries a game (although Sterlo concedes the beast might be susceptible to dummies in defence). Meanwhile, the gorilla has made is clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent. You are commissioner of the NRL: Would you allow this gorilla to sign with the Sydney Rabbitohs? What's your answer?

Yes

[batty]

Is this testing whether I'm a replicant or a lesbian, Mr. batty?

Well, the answer to that depends on how you would answer this question:

Assume you meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate’s collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear – for the rest of your life – sound as if it’s being performed by the band Alice in Chains. When you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it’s being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of the tunes will sound like it’s being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you). Would you swallow the pill? Its up to you Jezzman.

[Lexx]

Wait, wat?????

[jezzman]

Is this testing whether I'm a replicant or a lesbian, Mr. batty?

Well, the answer to that depends on how you would answer this question:

Assume you meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate’s collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear – for the rest of your life – sound as if it’s being performed by the band Alice in Chains. When you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it’s being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of the tunes will sound like it’s being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you). Would you swallow the pill? Its up to you Jezzman.

How big is the pill?

[batty]

I cant answer that question until you tell me the answer to this:

Defying all expectation, a group of Scottish marine biologists capture a live Loch Ness Monster. In an almost unbelievable coincidence, a bear hunter shoots a Bigfoot in the thigh, thereby allowing zoologists to take the furry monster into captivity. These events happen on the same afternoon. That evening, the prime minister announces she may have thyroid cancer and will undergo a biopsy later that week. You are the front-page editor of The Sydney Morning Herald: What do you run as the front page story?

[jezzman]

What do you run as the front page story?

TOO MANY COOKS? An Insider's Look Into MasterChef.

[Strifeboy]

What do you run as the front page story?

TOO MANY COOKS? An Insider's Look Into MasterChef.

FUCKING LOLZ I pissed myself

[batty]

What do you run as the front page story?

TOO MANY COOKS? An Insider's Look Into MasterChef.

The pill is quite large. Thumb sized.

[DaMorgs]

What do you run as the front page story?

TOO MANY COOKS? An Insider's Look Into MasterChef.

The pill is quite large. Thumb sized.

Is it a supository?

[ScawyMan]

Did you know...I like rice pudding .